


Karkat is your crabby waiter, at your service. (I didn't have a title so I'm winging it)

by MakeAStriderSmile



Category: Homestuck, MS Paint Adventures
Genre: Alternate First Meeting AU, Alternate Universe - No Sburb/Sgrub Sessions, And by that I mean his language but his mouth is cute too, Gen, I posted this on Tumblr but I just got this account and wanted to post it here too, I read over this and realized Karkat doesn't even swear, Karkat is your crabby waiter at your service, Rated Mature for Karkat's mouth, Thanks Nubbybub for inspiring this, That crab pun was unintentional, Uh I don't know what else to tag this with?, but fuck it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-17
Updated: 2015-05-17
Packaged: 2018-03-30 23:08:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3955381
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MakeAStriderSmile/pseuds/MakeAStriderSmile
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><a href="http://nubbybub.tumblr.com/post/118379319324/ok-but-modern-au-where-dave-and-john-are-college"> Finally got it hyperlinked, big thanks to Kaki_Idk! </a><br/>---------<br/>Dave gets out of finals, totally expecting to be able to lay down and sleep for a while. Luckily, John is there to rescue him and take him out for lunch.<br/>Karkat is their glorious waiter and Dave can't help but stare.<br/>I'm sure you've already seen someone write for this prompt, but this is a different story, so don't yell at me for it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Karkat is your crabby waiter, at your service. (I didn't have a title so I'm winging it)

The door of one Dave Strider’s dorm room crashes open unceremoniously as one Dave Strider crashes through and slams the door behind him, collapsing onto his bed out of sheer relief.

Fucking finally, finals are over, no more shit to worry about, just relaxing for a little. Maybe he could make up some new raps, finish a comic or two while he was still on his adrenaline high.

And then his phone went off with the Ghostbusters theme, and that idea went out the window.

He picks up his phone, sighing. “Sup, Egbert.”

“Dave! Can you believe it? We’re finally finished! It’s so exciting, I just have to take us out to celebrate! We can go to that place near Rose’s girlfriend’s house, both of them say it has pretty good food, then we can meet up with them after!” John exclaims, not really pausing between sentences, nearly breathless with excitement, as was his usual style.

Meeting up with Rose and her girlfriend didn’t seem like a horrible idea, he was always up for his psychologist of a sister analysing everything he did and scrutinizing it for some hint that he was just as hella gay as her. Which he wasn’t really, he was still into chicks, hell, he would probably be into trolls if he ran into one he particularly wanted to bang, but guys did it for him more than he would admit to anyone, let alone John, considering his outburst last time a guy had hit on him.

He swore, if he had to hear John go on about how he wasn’t a homosexual even though he was fine with other people being homosexual, he would probably strangle him.

“Fine, I’ll meet you there, later John.” He finally replies, hanging up in the middle of John’s excited reply.

Slipping out of his usual school clothing of a button down shirt and black slacks, he changed into his usual clothing of his red and white long-sleeved shirt and the tightest jeans he owned that didn’t simultaneously crush his junk.

He called for a taxi to take him to the tiny little vintage diner that Rose and Kanaya seemed to be so happy with, finding John already waiting in a booth with a stupid goofy grin on his face. He slipped into the seat across from John, playing with the little salt shaker and greeting, “Hey.”

John grins even wider, and exclaims, “Dave, isn’t this just the best?! Finals are done, we can go on a holiday or something, we could visit Jade on her weird island, or go see Roxy maybe?”

Roxy was John’s sort of girlfriend and Dave’s cousin, and he really didn’t like to think about them macking on. “You can go see her, I’m not bein’ the third wheel on your dates.”

“Wh-who said we’d be going on any-” John’s obvious denial was cut off by the clearing of a throat, and Dave looked up to see who had interrupted and promptly decided he had probably died and gone to heaven within that brief second before he laid his eyes on this angel.

His generic red nametag read ‘Karkat’ and he was beautiful. Tousled mane of wild black hair, Dave didn’t know if it was curly or just styled that way but he wanted to run his hands through that hair to find out. His horns were barely noticeable through the thick black locks, nubby and adorable and dear lord, Dave might start to hyperventilate soon. He also had a scowl on his face and his dark eyes narrowed on him like a fucking search beam and now he was certain he had died and gone to heaven.

“Welcome to Scratch, what can I get the two of you?” he asks, voice low and throaty, a bit raspy from taking orders all day and Dave could feel the blood rushing to his face already, he could just feel it.

John ordered a burger, hold the lettuce, hold the onion and tomato and add pineapple, the weirdo, and then Karkat turned to look at him expectantly, and Dave froze, his mouth suddenly deciding to join in, and boy, did it make a fucking fool of him.

“Y-Yeah, uh, can I g-get the… the.. shit. I dunno, m-maybe just some fries. Yeah, fries, and a strawberry shake too, thanks, yeah.” Oh. My. Fucking. God. Real smooth, Strider, like a fucking rocky cliff face.

For what it was worth, it made the troll stop scowling, the corner of his mouth tipping up in a smirk. “Fries and a shake. Got it.” he says, voice seemingly pitched just a bit lower now, or maybe that was just his imagination, oh my god he just winked at me.

——————

John was not the smartest of people, he would be the first to admit it. But the look on Dave’s face as their waiter walked away to place their order in was pretty much like the first time John had introduced him to his friend, and later Dave’s ex, Terezi. Plus his freckles were now pretty much hidden by how red his friend’s face was.

He was not personally interested in any kind of homosexual relations, though he was totally okay with it, one of his friends was gay! And Dave could choose to do whatever he wanted, but… Dave had only ever dated Terezi as far as he knew, and that had to make him straight. At least… semi straight? He wasn’t sure if trolls counted.

Either way, he was pretty sure Dave must just be thinking about Terezi, maybe even Kanaya. That would be weird, considering she was dating his sister, but John wasn’t one to judge.

—————

God, Dave was freaking out, he really was. He was being served by a hot troll waiter and he was going to jump out of his skin soon, he swore, that grey face so close to his as he delivered his fries and shake.

He went to grab the drink, stuttering out a thank you, but then Karkat pulled his hand back and accidentally brushed Dave’s and the fries that Dave was about to grab for nearly fell into his lap with how badly he jumped at the sensation.

Oh. My Fucking God. He was the most idiotic person on the god damn planet, he swore. Karkat just smiled a little like he knew exactly what Dave was thinking.

All of a sudden, there was a gasp from the other side of the table, and Dave turned to see a wide-eyed John, who looked both confused, surprised, and smug all at the same time, and as he opened his mouth, Dave already knew that whatever he planned to say was not going to end well.

“Dave, oh my god! Do you think that the waiter is cute?!!?!?!” John exclaims, loud and oh so fucking proud, and Dave just freezes, eyes going wide behind his glasses, face quickly blanching, and then, just as quickly, going bright red like the ketchup that john was nonchalantly putting onto his burger. Karkat has frozen as well, blinking blankly at John, and then looking at Dave with raised brows.

When Dave can only manage a weak shrug and a sheepish smile, he can see the slightest tinge of red on those grey cheeks before the troll goes into one of the longest and most expletive filled rant he has ever heard in his life.

By the end, John is pale, Dave is practically in tears with how hard he is laughing and the manager is dragging Karkat away mid rant and apologizing as they go.

They get a free meal out of it, and John pretends not to see Karkat slipping a piece of paper with his number on it into Dave’s pocket.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks ever so much to nubbybub again for making this post that inspired me so much, and to you guys for reading my first actually published fic from this account. 
> 
> If you liked it, feel free to send me prompts for this pairing (hell, send me dirkjake prompts, I'll do those too) at redrom-davekat-confirmed.tumblr.com, and feel free to leave kudos and all that junk. 
> 
> Hope you have a lovely day! <3


End file.
